Saturday, December 4, 2010

N

Nothing. Yes, nothing. Null. Naught. Nil. That is what I could think of after what happened yesterday. I know I am sad. I just don't know the exact word to describe what I am feeling. No, it has nothing do with school stuffs or love or financial or whatever bla bla bla.

It was on one of the subjects last Friday that such thing made me sad. I learned that one of my classmates knows how to make an ambigram, or so what I believed to be an ambigram. But I am quite sure it really is an ambigram. My classmate drew from her (yes it's a her) pencil case on her designs (almost ID size) and her folks kept on turning it in 180 degrees. Of course, that should be an rotational 180-degree ambigram.

Probably, I was kind of jealous of her because people are recognizing her budding talent. Maybe I just envy her because my ambigrams are rarely recognized and praised. Maybe I was agitated that for at first I thought I am the only one, the only one in our university, who could make ambigrams. Now, it seemed I have a match. I'm quite certain that she is still starting for her ambigrams were like that of mine when I was still starting and I am really certain that she is going to improve. And with such character, I know she has potential. Most women are born artistic and sometimes it comes out naturally while men are more of the creative sense.I know that compared to me, she can endear more people that I could.

I know it is not right for me to envy her. Well, I jut think that I should just keep on making ambigrams then, produce more in hard copy, and upload more in the World Wide Web. That really is the problem because I can only make ambigrams manually which meant that I'm quite limited to pencils and erasers. There's another way though -- scanning. Unfortunately, our scanner broke down.

I don't wanna be like this. I don't want to be in competition. I know the consequences of it. For year, I still bear the spoil of the war, a competition which I did not play yet was still entered into it.

I think that that (Oh yeah, I think my double that is correct) my classmate of mine gave me inspiration to improve, do more and express more of it. I have also thought of teaching her some of my ideas in ambigramming but that would make me sound so braggadocio. I haven't made a name of myself yet. In fact we're not even close to each other and we have never talked. I just new her name and vice versa. No, I am not into her. I do not hate her. I think I just hate the fact that I did not let myself be acknowledge of my abilities. Anyway, I would like to encourage her to do more of the ambigramming. Who knows, maybe we could work as partners? Impossible! haha

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